ICCM Day 4

So as ICCM comes to a close (well actually one more half day) I am contemplating many things.  One thing I am and have been contemplating is in regards to missions.  I feel a strong call towards a full time missions but no specific direction. What does that mean?  There are several possible thoughts. One is that God is placing a passion for missions on my heart but is saying not yet.  That is a real possibility. Another possibility is that the oppurtunity or open door is just around the corner.  I am not sure what it means but what I am sure of this passion and seeking the Lord's will in this matter has most certainly brought me closer to Him.  Especially during my time here at ICCM.  I have certainly had my ups and downs over the past 18 months but especially the past 6 months have been trying.  I have had trials at work that usually spilled over to home.  But over the past 4 days I have received both confirmation for missions, but perhaps more importantly a peace in the not knowing.  I feel at peace that God is working in me and preparing me for something.  But what has been really cool is this peace has also spilled over into answering the what, when and where for my passion for missions.  While I do not know the what, when and where, I am ok with that.  I have gotten to know some really awesome people at Lightsys and have currently applied to be a member of their LAN (Lightsys Associate Network) and am letting the Lord lead from there. Because of my passion I have been convicted that I am not doing my part to be ready for when the specifics come.  Two ways I intend to intentionally do my part are in applying to renew my passport and to work to pay down debt as fast as possible.  I have meant to apply to renew my passport for nearly 3 months but whatever reason have not.  Also while we have worked to pay off debt as a family I certainly can do more.  I believe this was one way the devil has been attacking me.  The second way was definitely through work.  There has been a lot of stress at work and I have been responding negatively for sure to it.  I have allowed it to fester like cancer and eat away at my attitude.  See, no matter if God opens doors to missions tomorrow or 3 years from now He has me at Marlington today. And as a believer it is my mission to do the best I can and to show others Christ's love through where I am at. I can still have a passion for missions and be working towards that, but perhaps the doors are not open yet because God still has more for me to learn where I am at.  The ultimate goal should be to draw closer to Him and seek to serve him with all I am, were I am at.  It is my prayer that the passion He has given me, and my love for Him, will be evident to others.  Life on this earth is too short, and I only have but one chance to reach those I come in contact with for God's kingdom.  I pray that I get out of the way and let God lead so I can run after him.